http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fFzdA5webj8
"Face down in a puddle of things you left
and a mess
from my head
I was not ready
for all of this
biggest crush of my whole life....
and outside
your plane and train and car
are all
all on time...
yeah yeah yeah yeah
I could tell that there was no one in control
and that's exactly why I liked it
and oh how I liked it.
It spin so fast that I can't hold on and even though
my teeth are deep as nails and the only part I got... "
Above are lyrics from a band I enjoy called "Snowden", these are lyrics from one of there songs I posted the above link to.
Music is a big part of my life, it's something I've always related to. This song especially makes me always think of all the things I've done wrong in my life when it comes to love, and interpersonal relationships. I've recently had a horrible break up, from an abusive type relationship others would say. I like to think of it more as toxic, we we're toxic for each other. I am drawn to men who make me feel like I'm not in control, my entire life gets wrapped up in the fighting, the intensity, and I am quick to dismiss them, and then in the end I pine for them back. It's a cycle I've always dealt with since I can remember.
When I come out of these relationships, I always wonder, do we really have a "one"... the "one". One person that will complete us. One person that will fill the emptiness we struggle with. One of the more famous quotes about loneliness which I feel like describes it best
"Loneliness is the human condition. Cultivate it. The way it tunnels into you allows your soul room to grow. Never expect to outgrow loneliness. Never hope to find people who will understand you, someone to fill that space." -Janet Fitch
I wonder how many people struggle with this like myself, I wonder how many people in this place lie awake at night wondering when this heart break and loneliness will finally end... where our prince is on his white horse to come save us from drowning.
